you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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