Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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