so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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