I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize