Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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