My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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