Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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