So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Congratulations! We have a period
I have post one night stand depression
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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