Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize