soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize