Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Randomize