he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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