I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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