dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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