she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize