Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize