I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize