I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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