Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
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Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
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I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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