Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
its liver damage thursday
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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