that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
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1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
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THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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