If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize