I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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