Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize