i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize