How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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