I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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