The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
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four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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