if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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