I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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