I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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