There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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