just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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