ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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