I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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