Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize