There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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