yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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