She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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