she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
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Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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