mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize