I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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