were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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