It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize