Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize