What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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