I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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