she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
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Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize