Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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