i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize