Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize